Summer time: time to feel self conscious about that last triple-decker-bacon-lard cheeseburger and extra fries (with a diet coke) you snacked on all Winter. And although women’s health and beauty may not quite be my explicit area of expertise, Amy Rose Spiegel from BuzzFeed seems to have some good tips for quick beach beauty. But of course, she could have told me that rubbing a goat’s chin while blowing a whistle (you, not the goat) would help me lose love handles fast and I would have never doubted her for a second. To this day I would still be abusing that poor goat. So on behalf of both Billy and myself, I thank you Ms. Rose Spiegel.
1. Use Kool-Aid as water-proof lip stain:
- Pour out a small amount of Kool-Aid into a cup
- Mix in some water
- Dab with fingers and apply to lips
- Clean up with q-tip
- Drink rest of mix
2. Use the salty sea water as a way to get wavy hair:
- Wet your hair with the sea water
- Scrunch it up with your hands
- Allow hair to dry naturally (for more waves, let dry in sunlight)
3. Exfoliate your skin with sand: I still don’t know what exfoliate means, although I seem to use it a lot in conversation. No one has corrected me yet so either I’m spot on with my definition, or they feel so bad for me that they don’t press the matter.
- Just rub the sand onto your body
- Rinse off
4. Use tea bags to sooth sunburn: Can anyone tell me what tea can’t do?
- Take 3 or 4 tea bags
- Allow them to steep
- Wrap them in a towel
- Dab sunburnt areas
5. Give yourself a suntan tattoo by using a sticker: Some good ideas include:
- Jon is Awsum
There are just so many possibilities! If you’d like I can send you a picture of my face for you to slap onto your back.
6. Rub a goats chin while blowing a whistle: Modern science still hasn’t come up with an explanation for this one. I don’t think anyone ever will.
Credits to Amy Rose Spiegel on BuzzFeed
- How to Increase Balanced Goats With Your Tips (jmaulsby964.wordpress.com)
- Got Goat? (msbwaldschmidt.wordpress.com)